teenagesoil:

I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.

stephenhawqueen:

how come girls line the bottoms of their eyes and look so pretty but when i do i look like 2005 pete wentz?? how come girls wear all black and look so pretty but i look like 2005 pete wentz??? how come girls can have side bangs and look so pretty but when i do i look like 2005 pete wentz??? how do girls do anything without looking like 2005 pete wentz???

mulders:

bill clinton believes in aliens and he was the president of the united states so he knows something

floozys:

i want to see more girl underachievers who are comedically lazy but have a heart of gold and can achieve things they thought they couldn’t when they really try like there are millions of guy characters like this and i can’t think of even one girl

twinpeakscaptioned:

(x) (x) (x

shutupaubrey:

*walt jr. voice* i’m pissed off

kingmycroftholmes:

im more afraid of a man wearing a confederate flag than a man in a turban tbh